"Douche and Turd" is the eighth episode of the eighth season of the animated television series South Park, and the 119th episode overall. Written by series co-creator Trey Parker, it first aired on Comedy Central in the United States on October 27, 2004, just before the 2004 presidential election.

In the episode, PETA protests against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary's mascot, causing the student body to hold an election to determine a new mascot. As the election approaches, Kyle tries to convince everyone that his candidate, a giant douche, is better than Cartman's nominee, a turd sandwich. Meanwhile, Stan ends up getting exiled from South Park after refusing to vote.